{"title":"Wearable Spells: Wizard Cat Tees","description":"\u003cp\u003eWearable spells for the cat-ruled household. Each tee casts a fake-Latin incantation for a crime your cat commits daily. Side effects may include knowing nods from other cat people.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"knockus-offus-tableus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Knockus Offus Tableus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 9 (the page with the coffee stain)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eKnockus Offus Tableus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Effortless)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eExactly when you're watching\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e2 treats, 1 full mug, 1 human saying \"no,\" and \u003cstrong\u003e0 remorse\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe ritual never changes. Our tiny wizard, in a slightly-too-big pink hat, hops onto the table with a happy little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. Sits. Tucks in their beans. \u003cstrong\u003eStares into your soul with enormous, sparkly eyes.\u003c\/strong\u003e One soft, toe-beaned paw reaches out, slowly, sweetly, like a magician who has never once been told no and listened. Boop. The mug wobbles. You whisper \"\u003cstrong\u003eplease\u003c\/strong\u003e.\" The cat blinks at you, very lovingly, and \u003cstrong\u003egravity does the rest.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars believe this spell has been cast \u003cstrong\u003emore times than anyone can count\u003c\/strong\u003e since the invention of shelves. No cat has ever apologized. Most were rewarded with chin scratches within the minute, thanks to the spell's \u003cstrong\u003esecondary effect, Cutenus Overwhelmus\u003c\/strong\u003e: it is scientifically impossible to stay mad at a face that round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear the wizard cat on the front and the full incantation on the back, so the joke works both coming and going. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e strangers showing you 47 photos of their cat, uncontrollable \"awww\"s from every pet owner within 20 feet, and a sudden urge to move your drink away from the edge. 🐾\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67882696245447,"sku":"21123448962543474605","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67882696278215,"sku":"29270998052323010635","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67882696310983,"sku":"26933529595995823484","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67882696343751,"sku":"26921474774708945652","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67882696376519,"sku":"19419735576080546586","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67882696409287,"sku":"86130919790404606446","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/328503671588000315_2048.jpg?v=1791739791"},{"product_id":"sockus-stealus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Sockus Stealus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 12 (the page that smells faintly of laundry)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eSockus Stealus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Embarrassingly easy)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe exact moment the laundry basket is left unguarded\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 warm sock, 1 victory lap, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 intention of ever giving it back\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou fold the laundry. You count the socks. You count them again. One is missing. Somewhere down the hallway comes a proud, muffled \u003cem\u003emrrrow\u003c\/em\u003e, and here comes our tiny wizard, pink hat slightly askew, dragging one single sock across the floor like a hunting trophy. Not the pair. \u003cstrong\u003eNever the pair.\u003c\/strong\u003e Just the one, so you'll always know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe matching sock stays behind, alone in the basket, forever waiting. Scholars of the dark arts of the hallway agree this is the cruelest part of the spell. The wizard cat drops the sock at your feet, sits beside it, and \u003cstrong\u003estares up at you with enormous, sparkly eyes\u003c\/strong\u003e, expecting praise for a successful hunt. You give the praise. Of course you give the praise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat and the sock are on the front, and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns exactly where the socks go. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e mysteriously mismatched socks, strangers confessing their cat's own sock crimes, and a sudden urge to check under the couch. 🧦\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67882929684679,"sku":"62478452649342263504","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67882929717447,"sku":"10607076432179269142","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67882929750215,"sku":"10108304908796935175","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67882929782983,"sku":"47648088667333965508","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67882929815751,"sku":"10908471551728793128","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67882929848519,"sku":"25406849873966867378","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/3022136697219904723_2048.jpg?v=1791742432"},{"product_id":"paperus-bagus-invadus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Paperus Bagus Invadus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 6 (the page that crinkles when you turn it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003ePaperus Bagus Invadus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Instant, once the groceries are out)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe second a paper bag touches the floor\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 crinkly paper bag, 1 running start, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 regard for the groceries still inside\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou set down the shopping. You turn around for one second. \u003cem\u003eCrinkle, crinkle.\u003c\/em\u003e Our tiny wizard has gone in headfirst, and now all that's left is a fluffy butt, two little back legs and one very pleased tail sticking straight up out of the bag. The pink wizard hat lies abandoned on the floor beside it. \u003cstrong\u003eThere was no time for hats. A cave had appeared.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars agree the bag now belongs to the cat by ancient law. It cannot be folded. It cannot be recycled. It will live in the middle of the kitchen until it falls apart, and you will carefully step around it every day, because \u003cstrong\u003esomeone lives there now\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat and the bag are on the front, and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you knows exactly who owns the bag. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e an inability to throw away paper bags, strangers sending you videos of their cat in a box, and a sudden urge to say \"I live here now\" in every new room. 🛍️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67882966941895,"sku":"71832778201708794443","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67882966974663,"sku":"16690051895631550821","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67882967007431,"sku":"20159581573405541264","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67882967040199,"sku":"16323229894470892737","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67882967072967,"sku":"25193776902585423910","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67882967105735,"sku":"16579725862444149854","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/5923299948852857495_2048.jpg?v=1791742981"},{"product_id":"fishus-bowlus-stareus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Fishus Bowlus Stareus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 27 (the page with a tiny nose print on it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eFishus Bowlus Stareus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy to cast, impossible to finish)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAll afternoon, every afternoon\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fishbowl, 1 squished cat nose, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 blinks for three hours\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur tiny wizard has found the greatest television in the house: a round glass bowl with one little orange fish inside. She pops her purple starry hat on, presses her whole face against the glass until her cheeks go flat, and \u003cstrong\u003estares with enormous, sparkly eyes\u003c\/strong\u003e. The fish stares back. Calmly. Forever. Neither of them blinks. A small, thoughtful \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e fogs the glass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the living room have watched this contest for years. Nobody has ever won. The cat is plotting. The fish is unbothered. \u003cstrong\u003eThe glass is the only thing standing between them\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the cat knows it, and the fish knows it, and you know it too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e wiping nose prints off every window you own, rooting for the fish just a little, and losing staring contests to your cat. 🐟\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883085365447,"sku":"14059859931299179809","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883085398215,"sku":"11688592311143302714","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883085430983,"sku":"32432430802311766024","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883085463751,"sku":"15437391224370386259","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883085496519,"sku":"22292326428302888253","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883085529287,"sku":"16792638213021889982","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/7542087765030047533_2048.jpg?v=1791744350"},{"product_id":"yarnus-tanglus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Yarnus Tanglus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 28 (the page that is tangled up in itself)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eYarnus Tanglus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Tricky to cast, impossible to undo)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eHowever long it takes you to start knitting\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 ball of yarn, 4 tiny toe beans, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 regrets about any of it\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou bought the good yarn. Soft. Pink. Mint. Perfect for a cozy scarf. You left the room for one sip of tea, and when you came back, the yarn had become a \u003cstrong\u003every small, very fluffy wizard-shaped knot\u003c\/strong\u003e. Somewhere in the middle, under a pink starry hat, two sparkly eyes peek out, proud as anything. \u003cem\u003eMrrp,\u003c\/em\u003e it says. Translation: \u003cem\u003eI have won.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the craft basket have declared the battle a tie: the yarn holds the cat, and the cat holds the yarn. Please do not untangle the wizard. The wizard is \u003cstrong\u003ecomfortable now\u003c\/strong\u003e, and frankly this is the coziest scarf in the house.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e unfinished knitting projects, finding loose strands of yarn under the couch, and the sudden belief that tangled is a style. 🧶\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883085856967,"sku":"27451780847238030637","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883085889735,"sku":"24527436205835026800","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883085922503,"sku":"24591153036426024535","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883085955271,"sku":"21887628769668070775","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883085988039,"sku":"11207905883906700446","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883086020807,"sku":"28403284466583856368","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12058958474714515362_2048.jpg?v=1791744356"},{"product_id":"screamus-nothingus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Screamus Nothingus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 2 (the page that shouts when you open it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eScreamus Nothingus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy for the cat, terrifying for you)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e3:12 a.m., on schedule\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 empty corner, 1 extremely puffed tail, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 explanations\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a quiet evening. Then, suddenly, our tiny wizard stops, puffs up to twice her size, pink hat trembling, and \u003cstrong\u003eyells at an empty corner of the room\u003c\/strong\u003e with all her heart. You look. Nothing is there. She looks. Nothing is there. She yells again anyway. Her sparkly eyes are very wide and very serious. The house has been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars believe the corner is home to an invisible enemy that only cats and tiny wizards can see. Others believe there is nothing there at all. Our wizard does not care what scholars believe. \u003cstrong\u003eShe has done her job.\u003c\/strong\u003e She gives a small proud \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, smooths her fur, and goes back to her nap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e staring at empty corners a little too long, sleeping with a lamp on, and a strong respect for tiny security guards. 👀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883086741703,"sku":"64645385016738772229","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883086774471,"sku":"35493630404514765895","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883086807239,"sku":"30490632681890598050","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883086840007,"sku":"29002028382493814036","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883086872775,"sku":"19660944138289574918","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883086905543,"sku":"26856467802019586838","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/8237112981195284370_2048.jpg?v=1791744407"},{"product_id":"doorus-closedus-screamus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Doorus Closedus Screamus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 29 (the page that is half open)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eDoorus Closedus Screamus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Hard on humans, easy on cats)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eEvery 4 minutes, all day\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 closed door, 1 open door, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 intention of going through either\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe door is closed. Our tiny wizard sits in front of it in her blue starry hat and \u003cstrong\u003escreams like the world is ending\u003c\/strong\u003e. You get up from the couch. You open the door. She looks through it, sniffs the air, blinks her big sparkly eyes, and walks away with her tail held high. A tiny satisfied \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e drifts back over her shoulder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of doors explain that the cat never wanted to go through it. She wanted \u003cstrong\u003ethe option\u003c\/strong\u003e. A closed door is an insult. An open door is boring. You will close it again. She will scream again. This is your life now, and honestly, you love it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e leaving every door slightly ajar, getting up from the couch for no reason, and finally understanding commitment issues. 🚪\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883087069383,"sku":"27767341117430860573","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883087102151,"sku":"18250911856517337654","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883087134919,"sku":"32851978434233262775","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087167687,"sku":"17772904332015645920","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087200455,"sku":"16370086839196811529","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087233223,"sku":"15537208706239380354","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/3614842798578447288_2048.jpg?v=1791744410"},{"product_id":"hidus-terriblus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Hidus Terriblus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 30 (the page that thinks you can't see it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eHidus Terriblus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Advanced, and still failing)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eWhenever the vet is mentioned\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 skinny chair leg, 1 very round wizard, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 percent of the body actually hidden\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur wizard is hiding. She is \u003cstrong\u003every well hidden\u003c\/strong\u003e. She has tucked herself directly behind one thin chair leg, which covers precisely one stripe of her face. The rest of her, a big pink fluffy round wizard, is extremely visible. Her sparkly eyes peek out on either side of the leg. She believes she is invisible. Do not tell her.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of hide-and-seek have studied Hidus Terriblus at length and concluded that it does not work at all, ever. But if you say \"where did the kitty go?\" out loud, she gives the tiniest delighted \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e and wiggles her toe beans. \u003cstrong\u003ePlay along.\u003c\/strong\u003e It's the law.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e loudly pretending you can't find your cat, giggling at chair legs, and being a little bit invisible yourself (you're not). 🙈\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883087298759,"sku":"21550244721579676756","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883087331527,"sku":"26242942899621766109","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883087364295,"sku":"18859040808409632477","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087397063,"sku":"13256697868440981861","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087429831,"sku":"19512869583465371923","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087462599,"sku":"32808108358506517638","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12831383012735033944_2048.jpg?v=1791744413"},{"product_id":"dotus-redus-chasus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Dotus Redus Chasus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 31 (the page with a little red dot on it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eDotus Redus Chasus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Impossible, and that's the fun)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eUntil somebody's arm gets tired\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 red dot, 1 wall, and \u003cstrong\u003ean infinite supply of zoomies\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe red ghost has returned. It appears on the floor. It leaps up the wall. Our tiny mint-green wizard, pink hat flying, \u003cstrong\u003epounces with all four paws\u003c\/strong\u003e, toe beans spread wide. She lands. She lifts her paw. Nothing there. Her sparkly eyes go wider. The dot is on the ceiling now. How?! \u003cem\u003eMrrp?!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars agree the red ghost cannot be caught, which is exactly why it must be chased forever. Our wizard has never caught it. She has never given up. \u003cstrong\u003eShe is undefeated in trying.\u003c\/strong\u003e We admire her very much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e staring at walls for no reason, a quick little wiggle before you pounce on anything, and the urge to give your cat a toy they can actually catch afterwards. 🔴\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883087888583,"sku":"38236886752141676887","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883087921351,"sku":"27334343558788200687","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883087954119,"sku":"71815213456410774015","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883087986887,"sku":"36210045391325145859","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088019655,"sku":"61940744814997368975","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088052423,"sku":"17459257101499587809","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/18309513449479618143_2048.jpg?v=1791744431"},{"product_id":"bowlus-snugus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bowlus Snugus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 32 (the page with a banana stuck to it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBowlus Snugus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Requires a bowl two sizes too small)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe moment you buy fresh fruit\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 tiny fruit bowl, 1 very big wizard, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 bananas still in the bowl\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou put out a lovely fruit bowl. Apples, oranges, one perfect banana. Then our tiny blue wizard (who is not so tiny) arrived in her rainbow hat, stepped in, and \u003cstrong\u003esquished down until the bowl was just a cat\u003c\/strong\u003e. Fruit rolled across the counter in every direction. She looks up with big, sparkly, perfectly innocent eyes and a soft \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of furniture say if it fits, she sits, and if it doesn't fit, \u003cstrong\u003eshe sits harder\u003c\/strong\u003e. The bowl is snug. The wizard is snug. The bananas are on the floor now, and nobody is going to move her, because look at her.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e buying a bigger fruit bowl that will also be taken, keeping apples in a drawer, and an urgent need to squeeze into small spaces. 🍌\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883088150727,"sku":"27811070889014182275","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883088183495,"sku":"19041078166996529697","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883088216263,"sku":"48036318706466342357","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088249031,"sku":"77027128754203872102","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088281799,"sku":"81394637855897689095","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088314567,"sku":"24831609429615909617","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/1053748792435320183_2048.jpg?v=1791744444"},{"product_id":"bellyus-trapus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bellyus Trapus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 3 (the page that is soft and fluffy and a trap)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBellyus Trapus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, because you never learn)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eRight when you think it's safe\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fluffy belly, 4 hidden claws, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 percent chance you resist\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBehold: a tiny wizard on her back, pink hat tipped over one ear, paws curled up, belly floof out for all to see. It is \u003cstrong\u003ethe softest thing in the entire universe\u003c\/strong\u003e. Her sparkly eyes look at you. Her little toe beans wiggle. She gives a sweet, inviting \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. You reach out your hand. Closer. Closer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd then: \u003cstrong\u003eGOTCHA.\u003c\/strong\u003e Four paws wrap around your arm like a fuzzy bear trap, and tiny bunny kicks begin. Scholars have been warning humans about Bellyus Trapus for centuries. Not one human has ever listened. You will reach for the belly again tomorrow. We all will.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e tiny scratches you are weirdly proud of, an inability to resist anything fluffy, and telling everyone \"it's a trap\" and then doing it anyway. 🐾\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883088511175,"sku":"14256250272837886136","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883088543943,"sku":"10722580277166779408","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883088576711,"sku":"78890489422568398060","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088609479,"sku":"17443433909592078522","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088642247,"sku":"82107063950819254068","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883088675015,"sku":"72106281521860042660","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/11593641817867558569_2048.jpg?v=1791746289"},{"product_id":"floppus-dramaticus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Floppus Dramaticus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 33 (the page that fainted onto the floor)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eFloppus Dramaticus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Requires award-winning acting)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eWhenever you walk past without petting\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 dramatic flop, 1 small dust cloud, and \u003cstrong\u003ean immediate need for belly rubs\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou walk past. You don't stop. Big mistake. Our tiny lavender wizard clutches her chest, wobbles once, and \u003cstrong\u003eflops onto her side\u003c\/strong\u003e in a puff of dust, pink hat sliding over her eyes. She is fainting. She is weak. She peeks out from under the hat with one sparkly eye to check that you are watching. \u003cem\u003eMrrp,\u003c\/em\u003e she whispers. \u003cem\u003eSave me.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of theatre consider Floppus Dramaticus the finest performance in all of catdom. The only known cure is pets, given immediately and in large quantities. \u003cstrong\u003eShe recovers instantly.\u003c\/strong\u003e She will relapse in about twelve minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e flopping onto the couch with extra flair, demanding attention in a theatrical whisper, and spontaneous standing ovations for your cat. 🎭\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883089297607,"sku":"10930621254899882260","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883089330375,"sku":"33297329203923944212","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883089363143,"sku":"24551644704670116695","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883089395911,"sku":"19722309958458802398","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883089428679,"sku":"29111718490499435960","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883089461447,"sku":"22176350263717971279","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/788483280008881452_2048.jpg?v=1791744463"},{"product_id":"bowlus-emptus-apocalypsus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bowlus Emptus Apocalypsus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 4 (the page with crumbs around the edges)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBowlus Emptus Apocalypsus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, and deeply tragic)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThirty seconds after breakfast\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 almost-full bowl, 1 tiny empty spot, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 calories missing, apparently\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur tiny wizard sits beside her food bowl. Her pink hat droops. Her sparkly eyes fill with sorrow. You walk over, worried, and look in the bowl. It is \u003cstrong\u003enearly completely full\u003c\/strong\u003e. Except for one small, empty circle right in the middle, where you can see the bottom.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo you, this is plenty of food. To her, this is famine. This is the end times. Scholars call this the \u003cem\u003eCenter Collapse\u003c\/em\u003e, and they warn it can only be cured by a human gently shaking the bowl so the kibble covers the hole again. You do it. She eats, happily, with a tiny \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eCrisis over.\u003c\/strong\u003e Until next time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e shaking food bowls on command, feeling personally responsible for the apocalypse, and an urge to sigh dramatically at a half-full plate. 🥣\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883089559751,"sku":"26050652028506802730","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883089592519,"sku":"29330354839937340128","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883089625287,"sku":"32114720166202346247","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883089658055,"sku":"10888818901287679629","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883089690823,"sku":"14883430047859826155","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883089723591,"sku":"33919236176697828105","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/14290438871763525900_2048.jpg?v=1791744469"},{"product_id":"stareus-darknus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Stareus Darknus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 34 (the page that is very dark and very quiet)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eStareus Darknus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, if you have glowing eyes)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eSometime around 4 a.m.\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 dark doorway, 2 glowing eyes, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 explanations, ever\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou wake up in the middle of the night. Something feels... watched. You look at the doorway. There, in the dark, under a little starry hat, are \u003cstrong\u003etwo big round glowing eyes\u003c\/strong\u003e. Our tiny wizard sits perfectly still, staring at you. She does not blink. She does not move. She has been there for hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the night say she is guarding you. Others say she is waiting for breakfast. She will never confirm either. When you whisper her name, she gives one tiny \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, trots in on silent toe beans, and curls up right on your feet. \u003cstrong\u003eSpooky, then sweet.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic wizard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e checking doorways before bed, getting very good at not screaming, and finding glowing eyes strangely comforting. 🌙\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883090182343,"sku":"55325189110768119514","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883090215111,"sku":"29965878544056821550","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883090247879,"sku":"16743713355589491522","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883090280647,"sku":"22606737241817605969","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883090313415,"sku":"32189866159655032396","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883090346183,"sku":"18889093114125402609","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/5260027955282339151_2048.jpg?v=1791746259"},{"product_id":"doorus-indecisus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Doorus Indecisus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 5 (the page that can't decide which way to turn)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eDoorus Indecisus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Hard for the human holding the door)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eSomewhere between forever and never\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 open door, 1 paw in, 1 paw out, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 final decisions\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe wanted to go outside. She yelled about it. You opened the door. Now our tiny wizard stands in the doorway, pink hat on, one paw inside, one paw outside, \u003cstrong\u003ethinking very hard\u003c\/strong\u003e. The breeze ruffles her whiskers. Her sparkly eyes look at the yard. Then at the couch. Then at the yard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou hold the door. You keep holding the door. The heating bill climbs. Scholars say Doorus Indecisus has no time limit. Finally she makes up her mind, steps back inside, and gives a polite \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eNo, thank you.\u003c\/strong\u003e Ask again in five minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e standing in doorways for no reason, unusually strong arm muscles from holding doors, and taking a long time to pick a snack. 🚪\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883090542791,"sku":"12258550033521350469","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883090575559,"sku":"13541535818189947765","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883090608327,"sku":"77869675917166176311","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883090641095,"sku":"33420866713545821457","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883090673863,"sku":"24825864904296669193","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883090706631,"sku":"25541974974124886888","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/8463170929900461651_2048.jpg?v=1791746387"},{"product_id":"shrimpus-snatchus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Shrimpus Snatchus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 35 (the page with a tiny greasy paw print)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eShrimpus Snatchus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Requires lightning-fast toe beans)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe exact second you look away\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 shrimp, 1 turned head, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 seconds of guilt\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou lift your fork. You glance at your phone. One second, that's all it takes. When you look back, the shrimp is gone, and our tiny yellow wizard in a starry blue hat is \u003cstrong\u003esprinting across the table\u003c\/strong\u003e with it held proudly in her mouth, sparkly eyes gleaming, tail straight up like a victory flag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the dinner table have never once seen this spell fail. You will chase her. She will be faster. She'll eat her prize behind the couch with a happy, crunchy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, then come back for a second one. \u003cstrong\u003eThank you for dinner, human.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e eating with one hand guarding your plate, never looking at your phone during dinner again, and secretly saving a shrimp \"by accident.\" 🍤\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883090936007,"sku":"24274262296910178700","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883090968775,"sku":"10679379230344839911","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883091001543,"sku":"21129320539644404119","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883091034311,"sku":"18166397195076915999","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883091067079,"sku":"21611906809332158961","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883091099847,"sku":"33404135018803950310","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/5915509301212859698_2048.jpg?v=1791746265"},{"product_id":"purrus-engineus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Purrus Engineus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 36 (the page that rumbles when you hold it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003ePurrus Engineus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Effortless, and very loud)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAs soon as you sit down with plans\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 warm lap, 1 cat-sized engine, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 permission to stand up\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou sit down. Our tiny wizard hops into your lap, kneads a little nest with her toe beans, circles three times, and lies down. Then she turns on the engine. \u003cstrong\u003eRrrrrrrrr.\u003c\/strong\u003e It is so loud the couch hums. Your coffee ripples. Her sparkly eyes slowly close in total happiness, and every so often she lets out a sleepy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e between rumbles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the lap have measured the Purrus Engineus at about the strength of a tiny tractor. You cannot move now. If you move, the purr stops. \u003cstrong\u003eYou will not be the one who stops the purr.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your plans are cancelled. You've never been happier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e cancelling plans to stay on the couch, phone calls with a background rumble, and a powerful urge to purr when you're cozy. 💗\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883091591367,"sku":"28600942885974117040","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883091624135,"sku":"27773448196315488606","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883091656903,"sku":"25284271174412541626","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883091689671,"sku":"29122428453865788691","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883091722439,"sku":"39428446914394385374","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883091755207,"sku":"26685374782477590711","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/7713220010249363223_2048.jpg?v=1791746270"},{"product_id":"sunbeamus-meltus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Sunbeamus Meltus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 7 (the page that is warm to the touch)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eSunbeamus Meltus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Easy, as long as the sun cooperates)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eFrom 2 p.m. until the sunbeam moves\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 square of sunlight, 1 tiny wizard, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 bones, as far as anyone can tell\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt exactly 2 p.m., a perfect square of sunshine lands on the living room floor. Our tiny wizard trots over, steps into it, and \u003cstrong\u003emelts into a fluffy little puddle\u003c\/strong\u003e, pink hat flopped to one side. She is no longer a cat. She is a warm liquid. Her sparkly eyes peek up at you, blissful and deeply smug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars report that as the sun moves across the floor, the puddle slowly slides along with it, inch by inch, never once leaving the light. Try to pick her up and she pours right through your fingers with a lazy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. \u003cstrong\u003eDo not disturb the puddle.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e following sunny spots around the house, very relaxed shoulders, and an urge to lie flat on warm floors. ☀️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883092082887,"sku":"10071033004899014718","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883092115655,"sku":"12540408642331835454","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883092148423,"sku":"10421049333810012653","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092181191,"sku":"44788254914964285387","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092213959,"sku":"27847611361739497537","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092246727,"sku":"28735343075295131767","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/14975438590539193005_2048.jpg?v=1791744535"},{"product_id":"blinkus-slowus-lovus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Blinkus Slowus Lovus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 37 (the page with little hearts drawn in the margin)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBlinkus Slowus Lovus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Easy, but very powerful)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eSlowly. Very slowly.\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 slow blink, 1 sleepy sigh, and \u003cstrong\u003ean unlimited supply of love\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAcross the room, our tiny pink wizard catches your eye. She looks at you. She closes her sparkly eyes. Slowly. She opens them again. Slowly. Little floating hearts drift up around her purple hat. This is \u003cstrong\u003ethe most powerful spell a cat knows\u003c\/strong\u003e, and it means one thing: \u003cem\u003eI love you, human.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars recommend you blink back, just as slowly. If you do, she may wander over with a tiny \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e and bonk her head against your hand. If you don't, she will try again later. \u003cstrong\u003eShe is very patient about love.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e slow blinking at every cat you meet, strangers wondering if you're sleepy, and your heart being permanently melted. 💕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883092312263,"sku":"11552512910234133824","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883092345031,"sku":"32101972555744390381","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883092377799,"sku":"27794498862126254833","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092410567,"sku":"21676871153767830853","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092443335,"sku":"10498268259685947968","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092476103,"sku":"21560517065820040316","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/10301168496089306245_2048.jpg?v=1791744539"},{"product_id":"vacuumus-fleeus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Vacuumus Fleeus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 38 (the page that's been torn out in a hurry)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eVacuumus Fleeus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy, the vacuum does the hard part)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe instant you plug it in\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 roaring beast, 1 puff of flying fur, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 courage left\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe closet door opens. The roaring beast emerges. It is pink, it is small, and it \u003cstrong\u003eeats the floor\u003c\/strong\u003e. Our tiny grey wizard takes one look and is gone, her yellow starry hat spinning in the air behind her, fur flying everywhere, sparkly eyes huge with terror. Abandon the house! Save yourselves!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of cleaning day have tracked her flight path: under the couch, behind the curtains, and on top of the fridge, in that order. Once the beast sleeps again, she returns with a cautious little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e and acts like nothing happened. \u003cstrong\u003eShe was never scared.\u003c\/strong\u003e She just remembered something in the other room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e putting off vacuuming out of respect, finding fur in strange places, and saying \"sorry, sorry, sorry\" to your cat every Saturday. 🌪️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883092836551,"sku":"25017631572315776003","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883092869319,"sku":"18925193705254628267","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883092902087,"sku":"57358899574221693498","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092934855,"sku":"29846216839940805620","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883092967623,"sku":"48793984141269775280","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093000391,"sku":"95315759699158673137","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/892505272968941616_2048.jpg?v=1791744569"},{"product_id":"alarmus-felinus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Alarmus Felinus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 8 (the page that goes off way too early)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAlarmus Felinus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, with one tiny paw)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBefore the sun, every single day\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 sleepy human, 1 soft boop, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 snooze buttons\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is very early. The sun isn't up. Your eyes are closed. Then: \u003cem\u003eboop.\u003c\/em\u003e One tiny toe bean pressed gently against your nose. You open one eye, and there's our tiny wizard in her pink hat, \u003cstrong\u003esparkly eyes wide and impatient\u003c\/strong\u003e, staring right into your soul. \u003cem\u003eMrrp,\u003c\/em\u003e she says. \u003cem\u003eThe bowl is not full.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars report that Alarmus Felinus cannot be turned off, rescheduled or ignored. If you close your eyes again, the boops get faster. Then come the whiskers. Then she sits on your face. \u003cstrong\u003eGet up, human.\u003c\/strong\u003e Breakfast is important.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e waking up five minutes before your cat (still not early enough), a strangely sensitive nose, and never needing an alarm clock again. ⏰\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883093360839,"sku":"32960614692261181585","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883093393607,"sku":"21561223678019029885","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883093426375,"sku":"25453364166824444668","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093459143,"sku":"68385122571160339091","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093491911,"sku":"71739332017642183368","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093524679,"sku":"24701138469714901166","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/16842515199763517724_2048.jpg?v=1791746394"},{"product_id":"blepus-eternus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Blepus Eternus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 39 (the page with a tiny tongue sticking out of it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBlepus Eternus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Accidentally effortless)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForever, it seems\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 tiny pink tongue, 1 very serious face, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 awareness whatsoever\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur tiny mint-green wizard is a fearsome predator. She is elegant. She is regal. Her pink wizard hat sits perfectly. Her sparkly eyes are wide and full of wisdom. And the very tip of her \u003cstrong\u003etiny pink tongue is sticking out\u003c\/strong\u003e, and she has absolutely no idea.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars have tried to tell her. She will not listen. She's been blepping since lunch. When you giggle, she gives you a puzzled, dignified \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, which only makes the blep stick out a bit further. \u003cstrong\u003eLong live the blep.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e taking blurry blep photos at every opportunity, checking whether your own tongue is in, and laughing at the most serious faces. 😛\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883093786823,"sku":"21155676091446659990","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883093819591,"sku":"84515909182509513251","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883093852359,"sku":"27769766670020159332","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093885127,"sku":"21591175425949307512","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093917895,"sku":"33061793874938210936","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883093950663,"sku":"24436755964632458671","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/3341768217223581353_2048.jpg?v=1791744613"},{"product_id":"chairus-warmus-stealus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Chairus Warmus Stealus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 9 (the page that is still a little bit warm)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eChairus Warmus Stealus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy, the human did the warming)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe second you stand up\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 warm chair, 1 cup of coffee, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 chance of getting your seat back\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou stand up to fetch a coffee. That's all. Ten seconds. When you turn around, our tiny mint wizard in her purple hat has \u003cstrong\u003ealready taken the chair\u003c\/strong\u003e, settled right in the warm spot you left, paws neatly tucked. She looks up with big innocent sparkly eyes and a soft \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, as if she's been sitting there all day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of furniture law confirm that standing up counts as giving the chair away forever. You stand there holding your coffee, betrayed. You sit on the floor. \u003cstrong\u003eThe chair is hers now.\u003c\/strong\u003e She's earned it, somehow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e never getting up from a comfy chair again, sitting on the floor a lot, and a deep understanding of \"you snooze, you lose.\" ☕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883094311111,"sku":"24569822001088541584","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883094343879,"sku":"12612761165634071635","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883094376647,"sku":"11907397977407272791","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883094409415,"sku":"10767178301994242734","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883094442183,"sku":"18005531627851636671","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883094474951,"sku":"51604821247998962613","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/11170287880831898919_2048.jpg?v=1791746400"},{"product_id":"pillowus-conquestus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Pillowus Conquestus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 40 (the page with a fluffy imprint on it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003ePillowus Conquestus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, if you're very wiggly)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eEvery night after you fall asleep\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 whole pillow, 1 tiny wizard, and \u003cstrong\u003eabout 3 inches of bed for you\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen you went to sleep, the pillow was yours. Was. Now our tiny purple wizard has \u003cstrong\u003esprawled across the entire thing\u003c\/strong\u003e, paws stretched out in every direction, pink-and-orange hat slipping, sleeping like a little starfish. You are squished on the very edge of the bed, clinging on. She snores the tiniest \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars believe a cat can grow up to three times longer when she's on a pillow. You may have the corner. You may keep one blanket. \u003cstrong\u003eGoodnight, human.\u003c\/strong\u003e Please stop breathing so loudly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e sleeping in strange positions, buying extra pillows that are also taken, and a quiet pride in being the cat's mattress. 🛏️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883094638791,"sku":"26303215753279311394","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883094671559,"sku":"26856522314625806362","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883094704327,"sku":"11012506214839943352","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883094737095,"sku":"22896656774991900290","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883094769863,"sku":"32376009118813097547","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883094802631,"sku":"22372927811657144694","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/5883882207864228105_2048.jpg?v=1791746277"},{"product_id":"bathus-horroris-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bathus Horroris Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 10 (the page that's still a little damp)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBathus Horroris\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy for you, unforgivable for her)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe world's longest four minutes\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 bubbly bathtub, 1 rubber duck, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 forgiveness, forever\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe trusted you. She purred for you. And now: water. Our tiny ginger wizard sits in a bubbly bathtub, \u003cstrong\u003ecompletely soaked\u003c\/strong\u003e, her pink hat dripping, her fluffy fur flat. A rubber duck floats beside her. Her sparkly eyes stare at you with the deepest betrayal any creature has ever felt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of bath time agree she will remember this forever. After she's wrapped in a towel, she will give exactly one wet, offended \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e and refuse to look at you for an hour. Then she'll get the zoomies all over the house. \u003cstrong\u003eYou deserve it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e feeling guilty when you run a bath, a towel collection for emergencies, and a respectful fear of tiny furious wet things. 🛁\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883096146119,"sku":"12919867895441298936","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883096178887,"sku":"10142530983715108375","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883096211655,"sku":"18189965785386121812","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096244423,"sku":"22169741818363176051","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096277191,"sku":"13297406393608137903","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096309959,"sku":"32970478602337745813","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/5247761158161420036_2048.jpg?v=1791744646"},{"product_id":"furrus-pantsus-blackus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Furrus Pantsus Blackus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 41 (the page that's covered in white fluff)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eFurrus Pantsus Blackus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Effortless, and inescapable)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eRight before an important meeting\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 pair of black pants, 1 fluffy white wizard, and \u003cstrong\u003ean infinite supply of fur\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're dressed for something important. Smart black pants. Lint-free. Looking good. Our tiny white wizard, blue starry hat perched on top, spots you from across the room and trots over to \u003cstrong\u003ebless you\u003c\/strong\u003e. Rub. Rub. Rub. She weaves around your legs with a happy, swirly \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, sparkly eyes full of love.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen she's done, your pants are no longer black. They are a lovely, fluffy white. Scholars say this is the cat's way of marking you as hers, so everyone at the meeting knows. \u003cstrong\u003eThe lint roller cannot save you.\u003c\/strong\u003e Nothing can.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e carrying a lint roller everywhere, never wearing black in peace again, and proudly saying \"it's cat hair\" to strangers. 🤍\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883096375495,"sku":"66622873868049521120","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883096408263,"sku":"91078653683618089991","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883096441031,"sku":"13532125832659493947","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096473799,"sku":"26740004103651945380","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096506567,"sku":"15635588708246725166","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096539335,"sku":"29561087058891711949","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/4507812733473860511_2048.jpg?v=1791746282"},{"product_id":"yowlus-midnightus-operus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Yowlus Midnightus Operus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 42 (the page that hums when no one's around)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eYowlus Midnightus Operus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Easy for her, hard on your sleep)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eMidnight, sharp\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 quiet house, 1 toy mouse, and \u003cstrong\u003ea full voice warm-up\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe house is quiet. That is a problem. So at midnight, our tiny mint wizard in her navy starry hat carries her little toy mouse into the hallway, sets it down, takes a deep breath, and begins \u003cstrong\u003ethe grand opera\u003c\/strong\u003e. \u003cem\u003eMRROOOOOOWWW.\u003c\/em\u003e Music notes float everywhere. Her sparkly eyes close with passion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the night say she is presenting her mouse to the household, and she needs everyone to know. When you appear in the doorway, she drops the toy, gives a sweet, completely normal \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, and acts like she was never singing at all. \u003cstrong\u003eEncore at 2 a.m.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e humming dramatically in empty hallways, finding toy mice on your pillow, and a new appreciation for midnight concerts. 🎶\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883096703175,"sku":"19954655490018694164","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883096735943,"sku":"64767422658848692892","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883096768711,"sku":"16395553457887662998","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096801479,"sku":"30705680676321678061","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096834247,"sku":"42258907273204989333","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883096867015,"sku":"75245386590709267462","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/9108577602112204543_2048.jpg?v=1791744675"},{"product_id":"carrierus-vanishus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Carrierus Vanishus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 11 (the page that's hiding under the bed)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCarrierus Vanishus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy to cast, impossible to break)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe moment the carrier comes out\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 plastic box, 2 glowing eyes, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 chance she's coming out\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou set the pet carrier down by the door very quietly. You don't even say the word \"vet.\" But she knows. Our tiny purple wizard has \u003cstrong\u003evanished completely\u003c\/strong\u003e, deep under the bed, where only two big glowing eyes and the tip of her pink hat can be seen in the shadows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScholars of the back of the bed say she has become shadow. She has become dust. She will not be found. You get down on your hands and knees and she gives one small, stubborn \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e from somewhere you can't reach. \u003cstrong\u003eThe appointment is cancelled.\u003c\/strong\u003e Again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e hiding pet carriers in the garage, crawling under furniture as a sport, and rescheduling everything \"just one more time.\" 🫥\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883096932551,"sku":"14761670926887504051","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883096965319,"sku":"12904662450698481684","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883096998087,"sku":"10427794738287901506","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883097030855,"sku":"70286186412227049880","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883097063623,"sku":"31731531847065360556","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883097096391,"sku":"16095654511372768799","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/13593866301821973115_2048.jpg?v=1791744682"},{"product_id":"fridgeus-teleportus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Fridgeus Teleportus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 43 (the page about the cold magic box)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eFridgeus Teleportus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Effortless, if you hear the door)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e0.2 seconds after the fridge opens\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fridge door, 1 cheese slice, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 footsteps heard\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou open the fridge. You blink. And there she is: a tiny wizard in a pink hat, already sitting by the milk with huge sparkly eyes, as if she has lived there all along. Nobody saw her walk in. Nobody ever does. She just gives a polite little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e and stares at the cheese.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is \u003cstrong\u003eFridgeus Teleportus\u003c\/strong\u003e, the oldest spell in the kitchen spellbook of cats. Range: anywhere in the house. Trigger: the faintest sound of a fridge seal. Toe beans touch the cold shelf, and the cheese is somehow already gone. You will close the fridge slower next time. It will not help.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e opening the fridge very quietly, sharing cheese against your will, and the sudden feeling you're being watched by something small and fluffy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883213095111,"sku":"11938381932805471701","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883213127879,"sku":"77001426410438334599","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883213160647,"sku":"16553026219033343174","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883213193415,"sku":"10212195697091167106","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883213226183,"sku":"19737014652524775292","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883213258951,"sku":"32790223952622005411","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/9235619558031889660_2048.jpg?v=1791746381"},{"product_id":"treatus-shakus-summonus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Treatus Shakus Summonus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 12 (the page that crinkles)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eTreatus Shakus Summonus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Easy, it is the crinkle that does it)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eFaster than light, slower than dinner\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 shaken treat bag, 4 zooming paws, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 regard for physics\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomewhere in the house, a human gives the treat bag one tiny shake. Across three rooms, a sleepy ginger wizard in a purple hat opens one sparkly eye. Then the air goes \u003cem\u003ewhoosh\u003c\/em\u003e, rainbow sparkles everywhere, and she's already at your feet doing the cutest little \u003cem\u003emrrp mrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTreatus Shakus Summonus\u003c\/strong\u003e is the only spell that works every single time. No wand needed. No chanting. Just crinkle. Scientists still argue about how a cat can be asleep upstairs and in the kitchen at the same moment. The cat does not care. The cat wants the treat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e shaking random bags to test the spell, a pocket that always crinkles, and tiny paws appearing out of nowhere whenever you snack.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883214897351,"sku":"54462636209808749235","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883214930119,"sku":"25288119430539670414","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883214962887,"sku":"75211780414265876872","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883214995655,"sku":"79135402186344085561","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883215028423,"sku":"16921068752447270802","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883215061191,"sku":"46993799628188562363","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/7501804405297956624_2048.jpg?v=1791746407"},{"product_id":"bagus-plasticus-lickus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bagus Plasticus Lickus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 44 (the page that tastes like groceries)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBagus Plasticus Lickus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Mysterious, even to the caster)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eUntil the bag is 'clean'\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 crinkly grocery bag, 1 tiny pink tongue, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 explanations given\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou set down the shopping and turn around. A tiny blue wizard in a purple hat has found the plastic bag, and she is licking it. Lovingly. Intensely. With her whole heart. Her sparkly eyes are half closed in pure bliss, and every few licks she lets out a soft, happy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy? Nobody knows. The ancient texts on \u003cstrong\u003eBagus Plasticus Lickus\u003c\/strong\u003e just say \"she must.\" Take the bag away and she will find another one, somehow, in a house where you swear you hid them all. It is a mystery. It is gross. It is \u003cstrong\u003esomehow adorable\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e hiding plastic bags in strange places, hearing crinkle-licks at 2AM, and explaining to guests that she is fine, this is normal, she's a wizard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883215519943,"sku":"69161946262625632000","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883215552711,"sku":"92047280199343644701","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883215585479,"sku":"32460755938756493066","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883215618247,"sku":"45103223894938114440","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883215651015,"sku":"28641401838240615871","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883215683783,"sku":"15099997392129047496","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/9041875985330751153_2048.jpg?v=1791746411"},{"product_id":"plantus-munchus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Plantus Munchus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 13 (the page with tiny bite marks)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003ePlantus Munchus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Easy, the plant cannot run)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eOne slow, guilty chomp at a time\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 houseplant, 2 innocent eyes, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 leaves left unbitten\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA sunny little yellow wizard in a green hat sits next to your favorite plant. She is not doing anything. She is just sitting. Very innocently. With a leaf in her mouth. She looks at you sideways with big sparkly eyes and keeps chewing, slowly, like you won't notice. \u003cem\u003eMrrp?\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlantus Munchus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a gentle herbal spell. Every leaf gets exactly one tiny bite, never more, so the plant looks like it lost a fight with a very small, very polite monster. Move the plant higher. She will learn to fly. Wizard cats always do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e moving plants to taller and taller shelves, leaves with suspicious bite-shaped holes, and buying cat grass that she will completely ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883216961735,"sku":"20805762179773579486","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883216994503,"sku":"10100632385983192678","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883217027271,"sku":"63515678467938243559","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883217060039,"sku":"25150752964629525352","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883217092807,"sku":"64957726428659134790","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883217125575,"sku":"23012787952690217104","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/6381803889171317305_2048.jpg?v=1791746435"},{"product_id":"couchus-scratchus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Couchus Scratchus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 45 (the page about expensive furniture)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCouchus Scratchus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Easy, the couch is already ruined)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe moment you say 'that was new'\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fancy couch, 10 tiny claws, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 interest in the scratching post\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou bought the perfect scratching post. Tall. Sturdy. Wrapped in cozy rope. It sits right there, untouched and lonely. Meanwhile a tiny ginger wizard in a green hat is up on the pink couch, claws out, sparkly eyes shining, going \u003cem\u003escritch scritch scritch\u003c\/em\u003e with the happiest little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e you have ever heard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCouchus Scratchus\u003c\/strong\u003e only works on furniture that cost a lot of money. Scholars have tested cardboard, rope and carpet. Nope. The spell needs velvet, leather, or the couch you are still paying off. The post is decoration now. \u003cstrong\u003eIt always was.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e throw blankets on every chair, a scratching post you dust once a month, and a couch with a very fluffy, very shredded corner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883217486023,"sku":"23438900194659385211","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883217518791,"sku":"15334667933590217500","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883217551559,"sku":"11299753110306760755","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883217584327,"sku":"33954011348881713585","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883217617095,"sku":"65741168892017707598","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883217649863,"sku":"33367309230239768443","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/3316506072762765871_2048.jpg?v=1791746440"},{"product_id":"treeus-holidayus-climbus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Treeus Holidayus Climbus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 15 (the page with tinsel stuck to it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eTreeus Holidayus Climbus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Hard, the tree fights back)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eOne festive leap, then a crash\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 decorated tree, 12 shiny ornaments, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 stars left on top\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe holiday tree looks perfect. Lights glowing, ornaments shining, star on top. Then a fluffy gray wizard in a pink hat climbs all the way up, pops her head out of the branches, and \u003cstrong\u003ereplaces the star with herself\u003c\/strong\u003e. Her sparkly eyes twinkle brighter than the lights. The tree begins to lean. \u003cem\u003eMrrp!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTreeus Holidayus Climbus\u003c\/strong\u003e is cast once a year, every year, no matter what you do. Shorter tree? She climbs faster. Fake tree? She climbs it anyway. The star lies on the floor. The tree leans at a jolly angle. And honestly? \u003cstrong\u003eShe is the best topper you have ever had.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e unbreakable ornaments only, a tree tied to the wall, and holiday photos where the top of the tree is always a cat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883221549255,"sku":"14108766796024374569","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883221582023,"sku":"17512863418134042837","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883221614791,"sku":"13227175535592382889","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883221647559,"sku":"29797161344910938611","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883221680327,"sku":"18261405329003545469","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883221713095,"sku":"25627746754975206239","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/963094344246128808_2048.jpg?v=1791746504"},{"product_id":"bathroomus-escortus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bathroomus Escortus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 16 (the page you cannot read in private)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBathroomus Escortus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy, the door was never closed)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eEvery single time you go\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 open door, 2 huge staring eyes, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 privacy allowed\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou walk to the bathroom. You hear tiny paws behind you. Before you can close the door, a fluffy little white wizard in a purple hat slips through, sits down, and stares at you with enormous sparkly eyes. She does not blink. She does not leave. She just gives a supportive little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBathroomus Escortus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a protection spell. She is guarding you. From what? Unclear. Maybe the sink. Maybe the bathmat. Close the door and she will cry like you vanished from the earth forever. Open it and she will simply watch, \u003cstrong\u003eproud of you\u003c\/strong\u003e, your tiny furry bodyguard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e never peeing alone again, tiny paws under the door, and getting a little lonely when she isn't there to watch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883223908551,"sku":"66343576193956319563","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883223941319,"sku":"17030099292299097869","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883223974087,"sku":"18255281299274160128","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883224006855,"sku":"23266683993772339201","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883224039623,"sku":"21694022074921691116","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883224072391,"sku":"80445213859332884612","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/3019860071049833326_2048.jpg?v=1791746534"},{"product_id":"lapus-imprisonus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Lapus Imprisonus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 46 (the page that will not let you get up)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eLapus Imprisonus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy for her, impossible for you)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAs soon as you really need to pee\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 warm lap, 1 smug peeking eye, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 permission to stand up\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou sit down for just a minute. A tiny wizard in a green hat climbs onto your lap, turns around three times, and melts into a warm purring loaf. You are now \u003cstrong\u003elegally stuck\u003c\/strong\u003e. One sparkly eye peeks open, very smug, as if to say: \u003cem\u003emrrp, you live here now.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is \u003cstrong\u003eLapus Imprisonus\u003c\/strong\u003e, the coziest prison in the world. Need the bathroom? Too bad. Phone on the table? It's gone now. Leg asleep? You are a chair. No human has ever broken this spell, because moving a sleeping cat is against the rules of the universe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e cold tea you couldn't reach, numb legs, a full bladder, and the happiest heart you've had all week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883225710791,"sku":"10001083491801006706","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883225743559,"sku":"16687418499994924855","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883225776327,"sku":"15869497579875597732","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883225809095,"sku":"30134710495314533506","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883225841863,"sku":"43009001836080382263","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883225874631,"sku":"33520732486170786483","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12355799147061454166_2048.jpg?v=1791746559"},{"product_id":"chatterus-birdus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Chatterus Birdus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 17 (the page with a feather on it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eChatterus Birdus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Hard, there is glass in the way)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe whole time the bird is outside\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 window, 1 tiny yellow bird, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 chance she catches it\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA little yellow bird lands on the windowsill. A green wizard in an orange hat freezes. Her tail twitches. Her sparkly eyes grow huge. And then she starts making the strangest, cutest noise ever: \u003cem\u003eek-ek-ek-ek-mrrp!\u003c\/em\u003e Her tiny jaw chatters like a very excited, very small machine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChatterus Birdus\u003c\/strong\u003e is an ancient summoning spell, and it has never once worked. The bird just looks at her. She chatters louder. The bird hops away. She turns to you like it's your fault. Tomorrow she will try again, \u003cstrong\u003efull of hope and toe beans\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e copying the chatter noise to make her laugh, nose prints all over the window, and a sudden interest in watching birds yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883226202311,"sku":"56690550506416860779","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883226235079,"sku":"14795364078767218893","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883226267847,"sku":"14632136358905959333","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883226300615,"sku":"25944198653090494705","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883226333383,"sku":"21990980115688031344","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883226366151,"sku":"84380467723059400888","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/4157857647630670280_2048.jpg?v=1791746564"},{"product_id":"laundrus-cleanus-furrus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Laundrus Cleanus Furrus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 18 (the page that smells like dryer sheets)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eLaundrus Cleanus Furrus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Effortless, gravity does most of it)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe exact second the laundry comes out\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 warm basket, 1 dark sweater, and \u003cstrong\u003e1,000,000 white hairs\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou fold one shirt. You turn around. A tiny fluffy wizard in a purple hat is now lying in the middle of your warm, clean, \u003cem\u003edark\u003c\/em\u003e clothes, sparkly eyes wide open, looking extremely pleased with herself. She gives one sleepy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e and melts into the pile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is \u003cstrong\u003eLaundrus Cleanus Furrus\u003c\/strong\u003e, a spell that turns any clean black outfit into a cozy fur blanket. It only works on fresh laundry, and it works best on the outfit you need for tomorrow. The lint roller is not a counter-spell. Nothing is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e owning three lint rollers, folding laundry around a cat, and wearing her fur proudly as a badge of love.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883228528839,"sku":"13785228959319603580","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883228561607,"sku":"30433659577779941109","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883228594375,"sku":"24775298049725324243","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883228627143,"sku":"30603665838752700393","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883228659911,"sku":"19230920326540483258","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883228692679,"sku":"28029265308038641173","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12232270095890423880_2048.jpg?v=1791746596"},{"product_id":"bookus-blockus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Bookus Blockus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 47 (the page she is lying on)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBookus Blockus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy, any open book will do)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe moment you reach a good chapter\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 open book, 4 soft paws, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 interest in your plot twist\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou finally sit down with a good book. Two pages in, a tiny gray wizard in a yellow hat strolls over and flops right across the words, toe beans spread, sparkly eyes saying \u003cem\u003eread me instead\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBookus Blockus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a protection spell. It protects you from ever finishing a chapter. The caster becomes the book, and the only story left is how cute she is. Bookmarks are useless against it. So are e-readers. She will sit on those too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e reading the same sentence nine times, books full of little paw prints, and secretly loving the interruption.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883229020359,"sku":"15195179919893446293","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883229053127,"sku":"30870014301719583856","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883229085895,"sku":"23778900429356819952","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883229118663,"sku":"58706966949428068042","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883229151431,"sku":"83438518987234744791","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883229184199,"sku":"15987653033601457990","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/15263617530863488608_2048.jpg?v=1791746602"},{"product_id":"grassus-munchus-regretus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Grassus Munchus Regretus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 48 (the page with a tiny green stain)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eGrassus Munchus Regretus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Easy to cast, hard to undo)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAbout four bites, then a dramatic pause\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 blade of grass, 1 brave tummy, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 lessons learned\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tiny mint-green wizard in an orange hat finds one perfect blade of grass. \u003cem\u003eMunch.\u003c\/em\u003e Delicious. \u003cem\u003eMunch munch.\u003c\/em\u003e One more. Then her sparkly eyes go very wide, a little green swirl appears over her head, and she makes a very small \u003cem\u003euh-oh mrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGrassus Munchus Regretus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a spell cats cast on themselves, every single time, with total confidence. The grass is always tasty. The regret is always sudden. Tomorrow she will eat the grass again, because hope lives in her little heart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e keeping paper towels close, sprinting toward suspicious noises, and the urge to say \"I told you so\" to a cat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883230036167,"sku":"32137597209022895069","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883230068935,"sku":"34676298825865502486","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883230101703,"sku":"22759252391738519605","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883230134471,"sku":"28214181282854472981","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883230167239,"sku":"66097852011543937564","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883230200007,"sku":"10715241293896049341","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/8254307632208209887_2048.jpg?v=1791746616"},{"product_id":"pettus-pettus-biteus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Pettus Pettus Biteus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 19 (the page with a tiny bite mark)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003ePettus Pettus Biteus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Medium, timing is everything)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eExactly one pet too many\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e11 gentle pets, 1 happy purr, and \u003cstrong\u003e1 surprise chomp\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tiny lavender wizard in a green hat rolls over and purrs. You pet her. She loves it. You pet her again. Bliss. Sparkly eyes, happy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e, toe beans stretching. Then, with no warning at all, she grabs your hand with all four paws and gives it a little love bite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePettus Pettus Biteus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a counting spell, and only the cat knows the number. It changes daily. It might be eleven pets. It might be two. Scholars agree the bite means \u003cem\u003eI love you, that is enough now\u003c\/em\u003e. Your hand disagrees, but your heart understands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e counting pets out loud, flinching at purring, and still going back for one more pet anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883234689223,"sku":"20903671905588398142","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883234721991,"sku":"27125430300987049184","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883234754759,"sku":"72918248670669343928","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883234787527,"sku":"19232298003202758221","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883234820295,"sku":"95801501226068867532","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883234853063,"sku":"10018421804093328563","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12153376517929203523_2048.jpg?v=1791746684"},{"product_id":"videous-callus-crashus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Videous Callus Crashus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 49 (the page that is on mute)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eVideous Callus Crashus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForbidden (Easy, she just walks in front)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe minute your boss starts talking\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 laptop, 1 important meeting, and \u003cstrong\u003e1 fluffy butt in 4K\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou join the call and say good morning. A tiny pink wizard in a green hat steps onto the keyboard, sits right in front of the camera, and gives every coworker a big sparkly-eyed \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. Somehow she also hits mute, leaves the call, and opens nine tabs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVideous Callus Crashus\u003c\/strong\u003e is the most famous spell of the remote-work era. It can cancel any meeting, unmute any mic, and make the whole team forget the agenda. Nobody remembers the quarterly numbers. Everybody remembers the cat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e meetings that start with \"is that your cat?\", a webcam covered in nose prints, and coworkers asking for her every Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883235311815,"sku":"33444302849209554872","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883235344583,"sku":"19137479785749704417","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883235377351,"sku":"32210798056461297393","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883235410119,"sku":"96334294429349822681","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883235442887,"sku":"32459861330510884860","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883235475655,"sku":"20983129686749207994","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/625466725474810996_2048.jpg?v=1791746689"},{"product_id":"buttus-presentus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Buttus Presentus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 20 (the page you should not read too closely)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eButtus Presentus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAdept (Easy, she just turns around)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eRight as you lean in for a cuddle\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 cozy lap, 1 slow spin, and \u003cstrong\u003e1 fluffy butt, presented with honor\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou invite a tiny yellow wizard in a rainbow hat onto your lap. She climbs up, purrs, makes a slow little circle, and then proudly points her fluffy behind right at your face. Sparkly eyes over the shoulder. A happy \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. You have been honored.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eButtus Presentus\u003c\/strong\u003e is the highest compliment in all of cat magic. It means \u003cem\u003eI trust you completely\u003c\/em\u003e. It is not a mistake and it is not an accident. It is love, served backwards. Please accept it graciously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e turning your face away at just the right moment, accepting strange compliments, and feeling deeply trusted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883235803335,"sku":"58088075878872235693","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883235836103,"sku":"62883132514568856639","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883235868871,"sku":"23971957316913721299","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883235901639,"sku":"16701704979411104384","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883235934407,"sku":"26564994432938126237","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883235967175,"sku":"24658225018176380797","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12236712305733713499_2048.jpg?v=1791746694"},{"product_id":"giftus-mousus-presentus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Giftus Mousus Presentus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 50 (the page with a squeaky toy taped to it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eGiftus Mousus Presentus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, if you have a mouse)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eRight before your alarm goes off\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 toy mouse, 1 human pillow, and \u003cstrong\u003e1 enormous sense of pride\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou wake up and something small is on your pillow. A tiny orange wizard in a pink hat sits beside it, sparkly eyes shining with pride. It's her favorite toy mouse, slightly soggy, placed with care. She gives a soft, important \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e. Breakfast is served.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGiftus Mousus Presentus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a caring spell. Your cat has noticed you never catch your own food, and she worries. So she hunts for you. She will keep providing until you learn. Please act surprised and thank her, or she will bring two tomorrow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e finding toy mice in your shoes, acting delighted at breakfast time, and feeling oddly well looked after.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883236524231,"sku":"41266060526031755150","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883236556999,"sku":"97989913038366976086","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883236589767,"sku":"13096681090648802093","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883236622535,"sku":"78090746127337805308","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883236655303,"sku":"17506293472032636408","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883236688071,"sku":"21340487835702982429","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/13715122507904732399_2048.jpg?v=1791746700"},{"product_id":"waterus-glassus-thievus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Waterus Glassus Thievus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 21 (the page next to the nightstand)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eWaterus Glassus Thievus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Effortless, the glass is right there)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eThe second you look away\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fresh fountain ignored, 1 human glass, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 shame\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHer water fountain is filtered, fresh and bubbling. It's never good enough. A tiny lavender wizard in a yellow hat hops onto your nightstand, dips her little face into your glass, and goes \u003cem\u003eslurp slurp slurp\u003c\/em\u003e, sparkly eyes locked on you the whole time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWaterus Glassus Thievus\u003c\/strong\u003e works on any glass a human is about to drink from. It turns ordinary tap water into forbidden water, which is the most delicious kind. Covering your glass only makes the spell stronger. She knows where you keep the spare cups.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e drinking with one hand over the glass, keeping a decoy glass for her, and finding whiskers in your water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883237146823,"sku":"12480846674791596284","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883237179591,"sku":"19992661002796371104","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883237212359,"sku":"24197916575143821027","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883237245127,"sku":"17648105860974821225","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883237277895,"sku":"13753244451708936548","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883237310663,"sku":"43487279522576173258","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/11913473301883219592_2048.jpg?v=1791746704"},{"product_id":"tailus-chasus-eternus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Tailus Chasus Eternus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 22 (the page that keeps spinning)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eTailus Chasus Eternus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Impossible, but she tries every day)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eForever, or until she gets dizzy\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fluffy tail, 4 spinning paws, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 idea it is her own tail\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tiny green wizard in a pink hat spots something fluffy behind her. An enemy! She spins. It escapes. She spins faster. It is still there! Round and round she goes, dizzy swirls everywhere, sparkly eyes full of determination and a very brave little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTailus Chasus Eternus\u003c\/strong\u003e is the only spell with no ending. The tail is fast, sneaky, and always exactly one spin away. Some cats have chased it for years. She is very close now. Probably. Please do not tell her the secret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e cheering on a spinning cat, getting dizzy just watching, and never having the heart to explain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883237703879,"sku":"20104382226016013042","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883237736647,"sku":"13027246849481769055","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883237769415,"sku":"32511331380225294292","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883237802183,"sku":"28578523011472388553","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883237834951,"sku":"23734026541494851239","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883237867719,"sku":"12717317613111560716","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12582679849009817393_2048.jpg?v=1791746711"},{"product_id":"catnipus-blissus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Catnipus Blissus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 23 (the page that smells suspiciously minty)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCatnipus Blissus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Easy, the leaves do all the work)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAbout five minutes of pure joy\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 pile of catnip, 1 wiggly spine, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 dignity left\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou sprinkle a little catnip on the floor. A tiny orange wizard in a purple hat flops onto her back, rolls in the leaves, wiggles all four toe beans in the air, and grins the biggest grin, with hearts and sparkles floating around her happy little \u003cem\u003emrrrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCatnipus Blissus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a joy spell, the strongest in the book. The caster forgets every worry, every vet visit, and every closed door. For five glorious minutes she is one with the rug. Then she naps for three hours like nothing happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e finding green leaves in strange places, grinning at the floor, and buying catnip in bulk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883239375047,"sku":"88483627461712533927","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883239407815,"sku":"28187992277438302472","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883239440583,"sku":"14567048997723304384","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883239473351,"sku":"26597407194466284776","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883239506119,"sku":"87779389840635946201","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883239538887,"sku":"21501127648894422065","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/10002969258921267269_2048.jpg?v=1791746737"},{"product_id":"biscuitus-bakus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Biscuitus Bakus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 24 (the page dusted with flour)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eBiscuitus Bakus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCantrip (Easy, if the blanket is soft)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eAs long as the blanket stays fluffy\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 fluffy blanket, 4 tiny bakers, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 actual biscuits\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tiny pink wizard in a blue hat finds your softest blanket. Left paw. Right paw. Left paw. Her eyes go dreamy, a gentle purr starts, and little bread loaves float up around her. The bakery is open, and the head baker is going \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e with every push.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBiscuitus Bakus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a cozy spell passed down from kittenhood. It makes no real biscuits, but it does turn any blanket into the comfiest one in the house. If she kneads you, congratulations: you are now dough, and you are loved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e letting a cat knead your belly, blankets with tiny claw pulls, and a sudden craving for warm bread.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883243372743,"sku":"16172130032488226119","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883243405511,"sku":"16712749604572954338","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883243438279,"sku":"13069064186897760284","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883243471047,"sku":"26417861915780637798","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883243503815,"sku":"16541618532722757758","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883243536583,"sku":"12259051386454562679","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/9744953504786465810_2048.jpg?v=1791746908"},{"product_id":"litterus-zoomus-exitus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Litterus Zoomus Exitus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 25 (the page that ran away)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eLitterus Zoomus Exitus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy, the panic is built in)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eZero seconds, she is already gone\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 freshly used litter box, 4 turbo paws, and \u003cstrong\u003e0 looking back\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe deed is done. A tiny blue wizard in an orange hat bursts out of the litter box at full speed, a big dust cloud behind her, ears back, sparkly eyes wide, zooming across the house like something is chasing her, with a victorious little \u003cem\u003emrrp\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLitterus Zoomus Exitus\u003c\/strong\u003e is a speed spell, cast many times a day. Nobody knows why it happens. The cat doesn't know either. It is simply the law: once you leave the box, you must run like the wind until you reach the far end of the house.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e jumping out of the way of a blue blur, finding litter in faraway rooms, and laughing every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883243765959,"sku":"29152552119077839323","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883243798727,"sku":"54422529078725732211","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883243831495,"sku":"28679269071712543914","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883243864263,"sku":"22284624937060559661","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883243897031,"sku":"25019977234164536432","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883243929799,"sku":"33034123647406650267","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/10311118642715573537_2048.jpg?v=1791746935"},{"product_id":"cucumberus-terrorus-wizard-cat-shirt","title":"Cucumberus Terrorus Wizard Cat T-Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__header\"\u003eFrom the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 26 (the page with a green vegetable drawn on it)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdl class=\"sp-stats\"\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eSpell\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eCucumberus Terrorus\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eDifficulty\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eArchmage (Easy to trigger, impossible to control)\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eCasting time\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003eInstantly, and about three feet high\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003cdt\u003eMana required\u003c\/dt\u003e\n\u003cdd\u003e1 silent cucumber, 1 innocent cat, and \u003cstrong\u003e1 enormous leap\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/dd\u003e\n\u003c\/dl\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"sp-desc__story\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA tiny gray wizard in a green hat turns around and sees it. Green. Long. Silent. It wasn't there before! Her sparkly eyes go huge, her fur puffs up, and she leaps straight into the air with a shocked little \u003cem\u003eMRRP!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCucumberus Terrorus\u003c\/strong\u003e is the most mysterious spell in the book. Why the cucumber? Nobody knows. Not even the cucumber. Please keep vegetables away from her, because she already thinks the kitchen is haunted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe wizard cat is on the front and the full incantation is on the back, so everyone behind you in line learns the spell too. It's a soft, lightweight cotton tee with a classic unisex fit, printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"sp-desc__side-effects\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSide effects of wearing this shirt:\u003c\/strong\u003e hiding salad ingredients, checking behind you for vegetables, and a new respect for how high cats can jump.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n","brand":"Spellpaws","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67883244159175,"sku":"19425590468593621470","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67883244191943,"sku":"67573135583150540936","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67883244224711,"sku":"26931330019241501443","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67883244257479,"sku":"20467098129000459840","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67883244290247,"sku":"15888895211599962912","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67883244323015,"sku":"14981216317037259987","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/files\/12623015707740393545_2048.jpg?v=1791746974"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0816\/0693\/4727\/collections\/spellpaws_coll_t-shirts.png?v=1791751197","url":"https:\/\/spellpaws.com\/collections\/t-shirts.oembed?page=2","provider":"Spellpaws","version":"1.0","type":"link"}