Breathus Fishus Wizard Cat Sticker
From the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 66 (the page that smells faintly of tuna)
- Spell
- Breathus Fishus
- Difficulty
- Adept (Moderate, the yawn must be timed perfectly)
- Casting time
- Right as you lean in for a kiss
- Mana required
- 1 big yawn, 1 face at close range, and a wave of fish breath strong enough to stop time
You lean in for a sweet, gentle kiss. Our tiny wizard tilts her head back and yawns directly into your face. A cloud of tuna rolls out like fog off the sea. Your eyes water. She looks delighted.
Breathus Fishus is an affection spell, technically. It's her way of sharing. She ate fish, and now you have too, in a way. Scholars report the effect lasts about four seconds, which feels like four years.
Stick her on your laptop, where she can only yawn at you in theory. It's a kiss-cut vinyl sticker in four sizes, from 2" to 6", printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.
Side effects of using this sticker: a habit of holding your breath when your cat yawns, friends asking why you flinch at fish restaurants, and smiling anyway.
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