Shoulderus Ridus Wizard Cat Sticker
From the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 52 (the page with tiny claw marks along the edge)
- Spell
- Shoulderus Ridus
- Difficulty
- Adept (Moderate, the shoulder must be earned)
- Casting time
- Whenever you are carrying something heavy
- Mana required
- 1 human shoulder, 4 grippy paws, and full captain privileges
Pirates have parrots. You have a wizard cat riding on your shoulder, steering you around the kitchen with tiny head bumps and the occasional ear nibble. She will not get down. She is supervising.
Shoulderus Ridus makes you a living vehicle. You'll make coffee with one hand, answer emails at an angle, and walk extremely carefully through doorways. Don't sneeze. If you sneeze, she'll use her claws to stay on.
Give her a new perch on your laptop or water bottle. It's a kiss-cut vinyl sticker in four sizes, from 2" to 6", printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.
Side effects of using this sticker: one shoulder slightly higher than the other, people asking where your parrot is, and walking through doors sideways out of habit.
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