Night Terrors & Zoomies: 3AM Conjurations
Faceus Steppus Midnightus
Incantation
Three in the morning.
The face is a bridge.
I must cross.
GOOD MORNING.
- Crime
- Steps on your face in the middle of the night.
- Casting time
- Three in the morning, every morning
- Mana cost
- 1 sleeping human, 1 soft white pillow, 1 lilac cat on an important mission
Here is how the spell unfolds: our tiny wizard cat, mid-stride, one paw raised and about to stomp down on a pillow, smug squint, small moon above. Casting time: three in the morning, every morning.
Three in the morning. Your face is a bridge, and the bridge is open for traffic. The mana bill arrives right on schedule: 1 sleeping human, 1 soft white pillow, 1 lilac cat on an important mission.
Scholars agree it is impossible to stay mad at a face that round.
Counter-spell
1. Play hard in the evening, then serve a meal; hunt, eat, groom, sleep is the natural cat bedtime routine.
2. Try not to reward 3 AM demands with food or attention, so the spell stops working.
3. An automatic feeder can take you out of the breakfast equation.
4. Leave a few toys or a window perch out for solo night entertainment.
