School of Chaos: Destruction Arts
Phoneus Toiletus Droppus
Incantation
Hold it high.
Look into your eyes.
Let go slowly.
PLOP.
- Crime
- Bats your phone toward the edge while making eye contact.
- Casting time
- Slowly. Very, very slowly.
- Mana cost
- 1 phone, 1 open toilet, 1 lilac cat who wants your attention right now
Every household has seen it at least once: our tiny wizard cat, on a toilet rim, holding a phone over the open bowl with one paw, eye contact. Casting time: slowly. Very, very slowly..
Hold it high. Look into your eyes. Wait for the word "no." Let go. The mana bill arrives right on schedule: 1 phone, 1 open toilet, 1 lilac cat who wants your attention right now.
Then they wash one paw, very slowly, as if nothing happened at all.
Counter-spell
1. Give them a legal launch pad: a cleared shelf or window perch that is theirs to patrol.
2. Play a wand-toy session before your usual 'watching' times, like coffee or calls, so the hunting urge is spent.
3. Keep breakables and full mugs away from edges, or use museum putty on things that must stay put.
4. When they boop something, calmly redirect to a toy instead of a big reaction; drama is the treat.
