Harnessus Flopus Wizard Cat Sticker
From the Forbidden Spellbook of Cat Crimes, Page 43 (the page that refused to turn over)
- Spell
- Harnessus Flopus
- Difficulty
- Adept (Moderate, she has decided she does not walk)
- Casting time
- The moment you clip on the leash
- Mana required
- 1 brand-new harness, 1 hopeful walk, and 1 cat that has turned into a puddle
You bought the harness. You watched the videos. You clipped her in, opened the door, and our tiny wizard flopped onto her side like a sack of flour. She will not stand. She will not walk. She has forgotten how legs work.
Harnessus Flopus is a spell of passive resistance. She isn't upset, she's just boneless. You'll end up carrying her around the garden like a fluffy loaf. That was the plan all along.
Stick her on your water bottle and take her on walks the easy way. It's a kiss-cut vinyl sticker in four sizes, from 2" to 6", printed to order for you by our production partner, Printify.
Side effects of using this sticker: walks that turn into carrying, an urge to flop over when asked to do things, and neighbors who think you're carrying a loaf of bread.
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